Sunday, August 31, 2008

Cowboys vs. Hicks

Cowboys: Get up at 3 am to feed their cows and give them all baths and move a couple tons of hay around before driving 30 minutes to school in their truck that they saved up and paid for on their 16th birthday. They are normally very good students, know what it is to work hard, and work hard in every aspect of their life. They can dress up nice and normal when they want to, and apply for every scholarship known to mankind. They're very involved in FFA, but I won't hold that against them.

Hicks: Have been drinking since they were about 10. Normally alchoholic parents. They live in trailers in the country, wear Wranglers that are way too tight all the time, and skip most of school to drink the cheapest beer they can find (provided by the friendly neighborhood drunk adult who doesn't care). They drive the beaterest of beater cars, which normally come from the pile of dead, abandoned and rusted cars lying around their house. They also chew tobacco and spit it in the corners of the hallways at school.

7 comments:

Emily said...

I just have to comment on all of these! I like how you spelled out the difference between cowboys and hicks. I have always known there is a difference, but since Utah has exactly zero cowboys and running over with hicks, I liked to get the point of view of someone that is around both.
I have always thought cowboys were cool and I've always respected them. Hicks on the other hand. Ew ew ew, drive your Hemi-douly, ugly, giant Dodge Rams off the first cliff you can find!

Sue said...

I've only met one true cowboy in Utah. Cam and I were camping way up in the Uintas. We hadn't seen another person for a couple of days, when suddenly this cowboy on a horse comes to our camp. He asked if we had seen one of his cows. We had seen cow footprints and showed them to him. He told us that his cows graze up there for the summer and he had spent the last couple of weeks riding around on his horse gathering cows. I remember thinking what a cool job that is.

As for hicks. I hate them. I went to high school with a lot of them. You see them all over Salt Lake in their big stupid trucks. I hate their stupid bumper stickers about hunting and Nascar. I saw the worst stickers on a truck the other day. You know those female silhouettes that are on a lot of mudflaps? This hick in a big truck had stickers of those in his back window. BUT, the heads of the ladies were Elk. So it was like an elk with boobs and nice legs. I'm not quite sure what message he was trying to get across, but the message I got from him was "I like to have sex with animals".

Emily said...

What kind of messed up people make, sell and buy something like that? What kind of women marries a man that would do same? That is so bad and over the top crazy, I almost can't believe it isn't satire. Yet I laugh and I believe that man thought he had died and gone to heaven when he saw that available to buy. Holy crap!

Sue said...

I was quite astonished when I saw them Em. At first it didn't quite register what I was looking at, then it hit me, and I couldn't take my eyes off of them.

I think they could be seen as satire if it was on say, my truck, or your car. But this guy was pretty serious I believe. It was one of those big Dodge diesel trucks that people can hardly park they are so big. And then the driver jumps out and they are like 5'1".

Anonymous said...

OOOOOH!!!! I know a 5'3" guy that drove one of those!! Not with the stupid naked lady stickers, but he had one of the nicest trucks in school. He was a cowboy though, he used it to haul his steer around. But I just can't believe all the 18-25 year old guys who work on the rigs who come in and request loans to buy $50,000 trucks!!!!! It's so stupid!! Sure, they can afford them for now, but what about if they wreck it, or can't work anymore!! And then they take out another $4000-$8000 loan for lift kits and accessories. So that they can look cooler than all they other guys driving to work. They are classified as hicks too.

B

Emily said...

Little man syndrome, like Curly is it? From Of Mice and Men. They have to compensate somehow. Rob read me a statistic a few days ago that (I don't remember if it is Utah in general or Utah Valley, I think Utah Valley) but the revolving credit debt for the average family is 25,000 right now! That means credit card debt! Not including cars and houses. Can you believe that?????? The constant need to one up your neighbors is so sickening.
Sorry related, but kind of tangenty.

Emily said...

His name is Shorty. Curly is City Slickers